Lead
"She threw sand at me." "He took my toy and wouldn't give it back." "They said they wouldn't play with me." — children returning from preschool or daycare often bring these accounts home, and parents are left wondering how to respond.
Should you call the other child's parent? Ask the teacher to step in? Or trust that children will sort it out themselves?
There is no single right answer, but research on children's peer relationships does provide useful coordinates for thinking through when adult involvement helps and when it gets in the way. This article draws on that work to map the developmental significance of conflicts at around age four and to lay out a framework for deciding when to act and when to hold back.